<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Memories of a Mother Dear by Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521365">Memories of a Mother Dear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling/pseuds/Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling'>Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo- Voltron [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Allura had an unborn sibling who died, Allura is very traumatized, Angst, Assassination, Assassination Attempt(s), Author found Bad Things Happen Bingo, Author is not kidding, Author took creative liberties with Altean shapeshifting, Coran is the best, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Never trust Author with angst, Paladin snuggle pile, Pretty dark too, a little bit of torture, and also Altean cursing, lots of blood, this is really sad y'all</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:55:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling/pseuds/Sylphrena_Honors_Shardling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith and Pidge are caught and tortured on a mission. Seeing their blood brings back memories of how Allura's mother died. Coran is not there to help her.</p><p>Prompt: Bloodstained Clothes</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alfor &amp; Allura &amp; Allura's Mother &amp; Coran (Voltron), Alfor &amp; Allura (Voltron), Alfor &amp; Coran (Voltron), Alfor/Allura's Mother (Voltron), Allura &amp; Allura's Mother (Voltron), Allura &amp; Coran (Voltron), Allura &amp; Hunk &amp; Keith &amp; Lance &amp; Pidge | Katie Holt &amp; Shiro, Allura &amp; Hunk (Voltron), Allura &amp; Pidge | Katie Holt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo- Voltron [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Memories of a Mother Dear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allura didn’t remember much about the day her mother had died. She had been young when it happened, only 13 deca-pheobs of age. Given how young she was and how traumatizing the event was, she was unsurprised.</p><p>Well, objectively, she remembered what had happened. A Galra assassin had snuck into the palace during an attack. Allura and her mother had been hiding in a room together. The assassin had found them. Allura’s mother had kept her hidden, but the assassin killed her.</p><p>But that whole day was a blur. That whole, terrible day was a blur of fear and horror and blood, so much blood. </p><p>On most days, all she remembered was the fear. The fear and horror that clung to her, choking her. Her nightmares would consist of her in a closet, that sense of utter terror present, and she would just know what she was dreaming about.</p><p>Other times, she remembered the blood. She would see the pool of blood in her mind, spreading, spreading, staining everything. She looked at her hands and remembered what it felt like, having them covered in blood. They had been so warm and sticky. And so, so red. </p><p>She fought back bile at the memory, even thinking about it. She tried not to remember lifting her hands from the pool and watching it drip. She tried not to remember the smell, clinging around them. </p><p>As usual, it didn’t work. It was a very bad day. Keith and Pidge had been captured during an infiltration mission. The Galra made sure to send a video of what they had done to her paladins.</p><p>Their blood had been dripping. </p><p>Were she not on the throes of screaming until her voice gave out and crying in terror, she would have laughed. It was just blood. It went through everyone’s veins, Altean, Human, Galra, every species of alien they had met had blood. It was so quiznaking stupid to be scared of it.</p><p>She couldn’t help it, though. She saw the blood drip onto the floor from Keith’s side.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>She saw the blood smeared over Pidge’s armor. So red on the white chestplate and standing out vibrantly from the green. So much blood from such a tiny person.</p><p>On the worst days, she could remember what happened in startling clarity. Every time it happened, she wrote it down. Coran had asked what happened to her mother one. She showed him the journal she kept just for that. </p><p>It had its own journal. Every time she remembered what happened, she wrote down the date. She then proceeded to write down what had happened. It had to have been written in the book about 50 times, but Allura knew that if she didn’t, the memories would just keep spinning.</p><p>After she had written it down, she would go search for Coran. They had come up with a code word for this, Habraxxigan. He would take her to his quarters and wrap her up in blankets. He would hold her close to him and hug her until she fell asleep. They would stay there until she didn’t feel like she would choke.</p><p>Well, that was only in the last few pheobs. Before… Before Zarkon had destroyed Altea and everyone on it, leaving them forgotten for millennia, she would find her father. He would cancel or postpone his other meetings and hold her. He would wrap his arms around her and they would sit. They would cry. </p><p>Her father would sing to her sometimes. She occasionally recognized the song, a folk tune or lullabye. Once or twice he sang Mother’s song, the one she wrote just for Allura when she had been a baby. He hadn’t sung it as well as mother, but she didn’t care. Often, he would sing songs from other planets he had been to. It was lovely.</p><p>Coran was wonderful, a wonderful man who she would always appreciate. He could not sing, though. The most he could do was carry a tune long enough to cry out a little janty. They were often terrible, but usually quite funny.</p><p>But now, now Allura felt like she was going to choke. She remembered playing with her mother in the gardens. She remembered laughing. She remembered her mother lifting her and spinning her in the air, despite being advised otherwise.</p><p>She remembered the attack on the palace and her father rushing to the gardens, leading the two of them to the very secret and very secure safehouse. He was going to alert the body doubles to head to the public safehouse. </p><p>They hid. Her mother told her to climb in the small closet, so she did. She tried to change her skin tone while the light was on, but it was very hard to remove pigment from one’s skin, especially for a relatively untrained child.</p><p>Her hair changed much easier, quickly shifting to a medium blue. Hopefully, even if they were found, they wouldn’t be recognized. Well, Allura wouldn’t be recognized. Her mother was currently unable to shift.</p><p>The reason the assassin came was to end the line of King Alfor. Killing his wife and daughter would make his claim very unstable. Not everyone on Altea supported what he did, and it would never be the case. As long as people had individuality, there would be differing opinions.</p><p>But really, it would be very easy to assassinate Queen Melenor. She had grown up a scholar, never really learning to fight. After her marriage to King Alfor, she had become one of his advisors. She had learned how to fight, but had not been trained for it.</p><p>And she was pregnant. 36 movements along, long enough the child, her sister, would suffer from quintessence manipulation, but not far enough that if anything happened, the protective covering around her would dissolve. That was the most dangerous stage. Another 3 or 4 movements, and they would probably both be fine.</p><p>But it was very easy for an assassin to strike. All her mother would do was try to seem like she wasn’t there. That was why her father was the only one to know of the specific room they had been sent to. Their body doubles had been sent to the royal stronghold, where important noncombatants hid. Her father had gone out to battle in Red.</p><p>They stayed there for vargas, quiet and nervous. At the footsteps, her mother also hid in a closet, but not in the one she was in. She hoped the footsteps were her father, telling them that the battle was over. She didn’t leave, though.</p><p>She was immensely grateful she had not. </p><p>They heard crashing noises in the rooms around them. Allura felt her heart start to beat faster. This could be bad, very, very bad. Crashing could mean Empire soldiers. Crashing could mean assassins.</p><p>“Next room!” a voice barked. Allura felt very panicked. That was bad. Very bad.</p><p>The door was flung open. Someone marched in. “The room appears to be empty, sir.”</p><p>Allura took slow, deep breaths. She had to be quiet. She needed to be calm. She could not move or make a noise. If she did, she would be caught.</p><p>“Search every nook and cranny. We have vargas, not quintants. If Alfor finds us, we’re dead.”</p><p>Quiznack! It was almost certainly someone trying to kill them. They were in the right room, too.</p><p>She took another slow and quiet breath. </p><p>She heard someone marching around, kicking and thumping. He kicked the panel that covered her. She didn’t react. A door was opened. A triumphant yell.</p><p>It wasn’t her door.</p><p>It was her mother’s.</p><p>No, they weren’t supposed to find her! But if Allura left her hiding spot, they would kill her, too. She couldn’t do that. </p><p>She had been trained not to do that. </p><p>Those jarxing haxblids! She would quiznacking kill them if she found them again!</p><p>But she listened quietly. She did not give herself away, because now they had her mother. If they found her, King Alfor’s claim to the throne would be tenuous at best. Everything that her family had worked for would be ruined.</p><p>She let tears trail down her cheeks. </p><p>“We found her! I got the Queen!”</p><p>“Can you shout it a little louder!? I don’t think the Yellow Paladin heard us!” a harsh whisper replied. </p><p>Allura felt a pang in her heart. Gyrgan would never hear that, because he had been killed by assassins as well. Even the Yellow Paladin could not survive that long in a realm determined to kill him.</p><p>“Orders?”</p><p>“Ask where the princess is. Beat it out of her if you have to.”</p><p>“You heard him, where’s the brat?”</p><p>She heard an annoyed inhale, the one her mother used when Blaytz was flirting with her. How was she so strong? “I’m not telling you,” she spat. Allura took another deep breath. She didn’t know how to feel.</p><p>There was a snap. “Where’s the brat?”</p><p>“I’m not telling you,” her mother replied. Allura could imagine her eyes, beautifully blue and blazing with determination. That made it harder, somehow.</p><p>Her mother couldn’t fight. But Allura could, and it hurt to stay hidden in the closet while they… while they tortured her mother. It really hurt. But she would not undermine her mother’s sacrifice.</p><p>Because this was what this was, a sacrifice. Her mother would not make it out of this alive. She was sure of it by now. And her mother was going to keep her from dying.</p><p>She wasn’t going to waste it, not yet. She would stay in the closet. She would stay hidden, until the men were gone and they wouldn’t be coming back.</p><p>She felt another wave of hot tears roll down her cheeks. </p><p>She heard a swishing noise, the sound of some type of blade being drawn. “Tell be where the princess is, or this is going to get nasty.”</p><p>“I have been trained not to break, scum. I will not tell you where my daughter is.”</p><p>“Boss, what should I do?”</p><p>“Kill her.” </p><p>Allura felt her blood freeze. This was it, this was actually it. They were going to kill her mother.</p><p>And she was going to stay in her closet. She was going to breathe quietly. She was not going to make a sound. She was not going to move.</p><p>Another wave of tears fell.</p><p>Her mother screamed. Allura had never heard her scream before, not like that. They had trained for things like this, yelling and crying, but it wasn’t the same. </p><p>Her mother had clearly tried not to make a sound, but it hadn’t worked. She heard it echo around in her head. It wouldn’t stop.</p><p>She lowered her head into her lap. She pressed her forehead into her knees. She didn’t move. She breathed quietly.</p><p>She heard her mother’s ragged breathing. She heard her mother whimper. </p><p>She kept breathing, softly and quietly. She would not be found.</p><p>She would not be killed.</p><p>“Let’s go. She won’t make it. Neither will the infant,” the leader said. </p><p>Allura burned. She wanted to kill him. She wanted him to suffer. He had ordered her mother’s death, and she wanted him to feel her wrath. She wanted him to feel her father’s wrath. She wanted him to feel the wrath of the Red Lion.</p><p>She breathed silently.</p><p>“What about the princess?”</p><p>“We know where she lives. It won’t be hard to send another assassin. She’ll be angry after this, unstable.”</p><p>Oh, Allura was already angry. But she would not let them catch her off guard. She would use that anger. And she would kill them.</p><p>They opened the door. They left. </p><p>“Seal it, we don’t want them to find the body. If they heal her, it’ll all be for nothing.”</p><p>“Understood.”</p><p>They stayed for another 32 Ticks, she counted. They marched off. Allura decided to come out.</p><p>It would be dangerous. If she was spotted, they could kill her. But she was angry. She had a small knife in her boot, like she always did for emergencies. She was trained to fight. If someone opened the door and it wasn’t father, she would kill them.</p><p>She would kill them.</p><p>But now, she had a moment with her mother. </p><p>She slowly and quietly slipped out from her corner. She walked over to her mother. The room was lit only by cracks in the door, leaving it hard to see.</p><p>“Mother, I’m here,” she whispered.</p><p>“My brave girl. I am so proud of you. You didn’t break, not once. You did not let them hear you.”</p><p>Allura scooted closer to her. It smelled horrible, a mix of iron and something sour. She nearly jumped when her hands met something warm and sticky. </p><p>Blood.</p><p>The light did not give enough of a picture, but Allura knew it was bad. Her mother adjusted her position to be closer to her. She shuddered. She gasped.</p><p>Allura knew it was hurting her much more than she showed. She crept closer to her mother, not caring about the pool of blood soaking into her clothes. She reached out until her mother’s head was in her hands.</p><p>“I’ve got you, Mother.”</p><p>She had enough light to see a pained smile on her mother’s lips. “I know. Thank you, Allura. My brave girl,” she crooned, reaching a hand up to her cheek.</p><p>“I’m going to try and stop-”</p><p>Her mother shook her head. “It’s too late. I don’t want you to look.” Allura knew that it must have been hard to keep her voice soft and continuous. How she did it, Allura would never know.</p><p>“But I must-”</p><p>“Do not look, Allura,” her mother commaded. “Do not feel.”</p><p>Allura nodded. “As you wish,” she decided. She could not save her mother. She knew that. She was not going to deny her the last wish of protecting her from seeing what was really there.</p><p>She didn’t want to see it, either.</p><p>Her mother smiled again. “I love you, dear.”</p><p>“I love you, Mother.”</p><p>Her mother didn’t reply. Allura pulled her tighter in a hug. “Mother!”</p><p>No reply.</p><p>“Mother!”</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>“Mom!” she called.</p><p>Her mother said nothing.</p><p>She was dead.</p><p>Really, truly dead.</p><p>Her mother wasn’t coming back.</p><p>Allura cried. She didn’t move from her position, wrapped around her mother, cradling her. She stayed there until her knees burned. She stayed until they tingled. She stayed longer.</p><p>She held her mother’s head to her chest until the footsteps approached. She remembered her duty to survive. She pulled the knife out of her boot. She didn’t let go, just shifted so she could see what was going on.</p><p>“Melenor! Allura! Are you all right! We won the battle! Time to head back!”</p><p>It was her father. Allura felt a choking sensation come over her. She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t say anything. She dropped the knife and wrapped that arm back around her mother.</p><p>“Melenor! Allura!” he cried, panicked.</p><p>Allura let out a whine.</p><p>She heard a roar in the distance. </p><p>She wasn’t sure if it was her father or his lion.</p><p>Her father pounded on the door until it opened. The light came flooding in.</p><p>She saw her father. He rushed to them. “Are you okay? Where are you hurt?” He gathered her in his arms. </p><p>She couldn’t force the words out. She looked down.</p><p>Into the blood.</p><p>It was everywhere.</p><p>It was in a very large puddle, completely surrounding her and her mother. It was on her dress, soaking up from the ground. It was on her hands. It was all over her mother, staining her clothes, her hair, her side. She noticed a tear in her dress and almost looked.</p><p>She remembered her promise. She closed her eyes. She turned to her father. </p><p>“Mom,” she finally got out. The words seemed to make more sense of themselves. “They killed her.”</p><p>He wrapped her up in his arms. He rested her mother’s head on the floor and pulled her to him. “Are you hurt?”</p><p>“No,” she whispered. “I was quiet. I was brave.”</p><p>He picked her up then. It had been a while since the last time her father had carried her. He brought her to his room, the one he shared with mother. </p><p>He set her on the bed. He cupped her cheeks in his palm. “Stay safe. I have to go get your mother.”</p><p>She nodded. </p><p>He came back 21 doboshes later. He was crying. He raced to her side. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, my precious girl.”</p><p>She let out another whine. He gathered her in his arms again. They sat on the bed for ages. He held her and they cried.</p><p>There was a knock on the door. “Alfor, Allura, I’m coming in. I cancelled everything and pulled a doctor.”</p><p>Coran entered. He walked over to them and wrapped his arms around them. “I’ve got you.”</p><p>They both cried harder at that and leaned into Coran. He was always there for them, always making them feel safe. </p><p>Allura snapped herself out of her memories. She quickly found the journal and wrote down a quick retelling of what happened. She wanted Coran.</p><p>She had already made her way to the bridge, mouthing Habraxxigan over and over again, when she realized that Coran was at a swap market, looking for a mineral that should help the paladins heal better. She didn’t know what to do. She kept seeing the blood, pooling and spreading.</p><p>She saw her mother, laying down in it.</p><p>She saw Pidge in it, her green armor coated in it.</p><p>She saw Keith, the red blood looking like the colors of his armor had just kept dripping.</p><p>She ran to the infirmary. She saw Pidge in the pod, only a few doboshes left. The others were already there except for Keith, waiting to catch her and feed her, then drag her to snuggle. </p><p>They moved aside when she entered. She didn’t know why, but she knew she had to see Pidge. She ran to her pod and rested her hands on the glass. </p><p>The cool glass, like her mother’s face.</p><p>She felt the tears running down her cheeks.</p><p>Like the blood.</p><p>Dripping.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>She felt bile rise in her throat again. She ran over to the nearest waste disposal. She threw up in it. Pidge was hurt. Pidge was bleeding.</p><p>Like Mother.</p><p>She started sobbing. </p><p>Where was Coran!? She needed Coran! He could help her!</p><p>She continued sobbing.</p><p>The other Paladins exchanged looks, unsure how to respond. Hunk stepped forward. </p><p>“Allura, are you going to throw up again?”</p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>“Come here,” he said. He walked closer to her, warm and inviting. She walked closer. He wrapped his arms around her. </p><p>He was warm. He was comforting. He felt safe. He felt like… her mother.</p><p>She felt a wave of agony come over her. </p><p>“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p>Allura didn’t think so. She didn’t think she could talk. She felt like she was choking again. Like the fear had come back to choke her. “Ha-Habra-” she struggled for a few seconds, “Habraxxigan.”</p><p>Shiro moved from his position at Pidge’s pod. “Is that a code word?” His voice was very soft. It was warm. It felt safe, like Hunk.</p><p>She nodded. She didn’t think she could say anything else, she had to be quiet, quiet and slow, or they would find her.</p><p>No, she didn’t. She could talk. “The blood.”</p><p>“You didn’t like the blood?” Hunk asked.</p><p>She nodded. “Memories.”</p><p>They nodded and Lance walked over. “Can we help?” he questioned.</p><p>Allura didn’t know. She didn’t feel as choked, though. “I don’t know.”</p><p>Keith walked into their gathering, covered in bandages. She noticed that one had a few drops of blood showing. </p><p>She could feel her heart beating.</p><p>It was too fast.</p><p>She could feel her breath.</p><p>It was too fast, too loud.</p><p>She saw the blood, dripping.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>“Allura!”</p><p>She startled and looked up at the person. It was Keith. </p><p>She looked at his face. It had a bandage on it. Under the bandage was blood. She knew that it would drip.</p><p>Like her mother’s.</p><p>“-uck!” She heard. It was one of those Earthen swear words, the one Shiro never let anyone use.</p><p>It snapped her out of her spiral. Dimly, she realized that this was probably one of the worst recollections she had ever had. That was probably bad.</p><p>She just wanted Mother! She wanted Coran! She wanted her father! She wanted them to sing Altean folk tales, or try. </p><p>And Hunk’s arms wrapped tighter around her. It almost felt like Father was hugging her. She leaned into him. She just wanted it to stop.</p><p>Another person came to the side, Shiro. He joined in wrapping his arms around her. </p><p>Just like Coran.</p><p>She was… safe.</p><p>She had her Paladins.</p><p>The pod beeped and Lance rushed over. “Keith, get the food please. We’re all heading to the lounge,” Hunk ordered.</p><p>“Lance, can you get Pidge there?” Shiro asked.</p><p>“Yep, you guys go start the snuggle pile, we’ll come. Keith, by we, I also mean you.” The screen to the pod lifted. Pidge stumbled out. Lance caught her. “Hey, Gremlin, we’re going to the lounge.”</p><p>They migrated. It was nice. She felt safe. And when she got to the couch, more people joined. Pidge was eating, and every time she set the spoon down for more than a few seconds, Keith poked her.</p><p>Allura would laugh, if she had enough energy. Instead, she smiled. She stayed wrapped in Hunk’s arms the whole night cycle. Shiro was there beside her for most of the time. Lance eventually joined in and wrapped an arm around Hunk to rest it on her. Keith was dragged over and set on the edge of the pile. Pidge had Shiro’s lap, her head on Allura and her feet on Keith.</p><p>It was nice. She didn’t remember doing something like this before, but it felt so safe.</p><p>Because, really, she was safe. She had her Paladins around her and Coran out to protect all of them. And they all loved each other. </p><p>They were safe. They were happy.</p><p>Allura was happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realized that there wasn't any Allura angst. I fixed that. Here, be happy. Read my angst. In this house, we give everyone trauma, even aliens. Scratch that, especially the aliens.</p><p>And yes, I do spend my free time coming up with the biology of aliens, why do you ask?</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>